It's Official!

Just over two months since I learned of my new position, I’ve made my final trip from Texas.  Granted, I still own property there, but with no immediate plans to return, Puerto Rico is now home.

So I'm waiting for The Feeling to set in.  Some of you may be familiar with it, but for those who aren't, allow me some background.

When I was 22, I packed bags and headed to Australia, no return date in mind.  Oh, the first two weeks were great; reunited with my boyfriend, we explored Sydney, and then traveled to his college town where I finally got to meet and party with all his friends.  But the time came for me to board a train and head to Rockhampton, where I would be doing an internship at the university there.  The thinking was sound; if I was going to marry this guy (definitely the plan at the time,) I'd better be damn sure I like the country, with or without him around.

The next two weeks were a disaster.  The Feeling of utter isolation set in.  I was a 12 hour drive from my boyfriend, and a 14 hour flight from everyone and everything I'd ever known.  Every morning, I woke up in tears.  I cried through the shower, and tried to get it together by the time I got to the office.  Occasionally I wasn't successful, and had to close my office door to pull myself together.  I was living in a dorm, and there were plenty of other Americans around, but they'd been there for months and already formed their cliques. 

Finally, I went to see the university counselor.  She had me take a quiz with about 100 different life events listed on it.  Each event had a certain number of points associated with it.  I scored off the charts.  Once she told me it was perfectly normal to feel the way I did with all the changes I'd been through, the tears dried up and for the most part the next eight months went off without a hitch.

I had a small twinge of The Feeling as I stood on the porch of my apartment in College Station and waved my family good-bye after our Clark Griswald style road trip to move me to Texas A&M.  But the next day I met the rest of my fellow classmates, and then ensued the best two years of my life.

My next experience with The Feeling happened after graduation from Texas A&M.  Again I packed my bags, headed for Europe this time.  While others were planning to join me on and off throughout my six week stay, the first part I was flying solo.  I landed in Paris, found the hotel, walked around a bit for some dinner, and headed in for the night.

I was suffering from the kind of jetlag that only traveling west to east can evoke.  You can make yourself stay up if you're tired, but you can't make yourself go to sleep if you're not.  I lay there for hours and again the tears set in like they hadn't since Australia six years earlier.  The Feeling was back.  Finally around four in the morning, I gave myself a stern talking to.  I told myself if I didn't want to be there I could get on a plane and go back to Texas in the morning.  Well, that sobered me up – I'd always wanted to backpack Europe – and once again the tears were gone and I was fine the rest of the trip.

So I'm waiting for The Feeling now.  This is it.  This is a permanent arrangement.  Well, at least a three year arrangement, not a few weeks or months.  Backing out would mean giving up a 10 year career, and I'm certainly not about to do that; if The Feeling comes, I'll just have to deal with it. 

I am the first of three people relocating from the States to Puerto Rico with my company this summer.  So there's some hope with two other 'newbies' I'll have some insta-friends to hang out with.  My calendar is also filling up quickly, either with trips back to the States or with friends planning to visit.  Perhaps something to look forward to each month will keep The Feeling away.

It's also entirely possible that technology has rendered The Feeling irrelevant.  When I was in Australia, it was nearly two bucks a minute to call home.  It was 1995 and email was just coming onto the scene.  But now, between cell phones, text messages, email and Facebook, it's much easier (and cheaper) to "reach out and touch someone" if you're feeling a bit lonely.

Or perhaps it won't be until I'm sitting in my condo, surrounded by my things, that reality sets in and The Feeling takes over.  Guess we'll just have to wait and see.

In other news, I have tomorrow off for Puerto Rico Constitution Day.  Yes, all my usual holidays and some other randoms.  Hopefully the weather will be nice and I can finally get in some quality beach time!

Second Impressions.....

I am just wrapping up the first week of my second trip to Puerto Rico, the second of three visits living in a hotel.  I can move into my condo on August 1, and it can't come soon enough.  I'm tired of eating out, and my poor dog is a vagabond.

Thing I love: The weather.  Yes, it's a bit humid, but a nice ocean breeze keeps it from being anywhere near as miserable as I remember Houston and College Station to be.  And it's about 20 degrees cooler than Dallas, without North Texas's hairdryer-like wind blowing in your face. 

Thing I hate:  The language barrier is REALLY driving me crazy this time around.  At work, entire conversations go on around me, and all I can do is stand there like an idiot and patiently wait for someone to bring me up to speed.  I'm starting completely over when it comes to making friends, and the inability to casually chime into a conversation, both in the office and out, makes the isolation just that much worse.  Ford has approved 200 hours of one on one language lessons. They can't start soon enough!

Thing I'm not sure what to make of:  I need to learn how to kiss.  Not "so my boyfriend doesn't make fun of me in the locker room" kind of kiss, but  "breezy, Latin, casual kiss on the cheek" kind of kiss.  I wouldn't say I'm an overly affectionate person.  I've only recently taken to hugging, and that's sporadic at best.  But this casual cheek-kissing goes on everywhere.  After a meeting in the office last week, the vendor went in for the good-bye peck and I'm like a sloppy 16-year-old again.  Stumbling, jerky; one wrong move and you're accidentally making out with someone - not exactly the reputation you want to have in the office. Yes, definitely must learn to pull this off without turning all stiff and awkward.

Thing I miss:  CrossFit.  Since I learned earlier this year I was most likely relocating, just not sure where to, I figured wherever I landed I would join a CrossFit and meet people there.  Wouldn't you know, of all the places I could have ended up, this is one of the few that is still waiting for that enterprising young entrepreneur to make a go of it.  The treadmill at the hotel gym just isn't the same.  I see plenty of people out for a run down Ashford Ave, the main drag in Condado that runs parallel to the beach.  But it's like a full on obstacle course.  Between the crowds of people, the crazy traffic, uneven sidewalks, curbs of varying heights, sporadic potholes - well, I don't like running that much.  Too many distractions and I throw in the towel.  I am seriously considering the purchase of a few kettle bells and something to use for box jumps and making a home gym in the office.  Never mind that damn half marathon......

Thing that worries me:  I'm way too damn close to the casino.  And so far, the blackjack table has been nothing but good to me.  It's courting me, showing me all its best sides, sucking me in for what it knows is three years of steady donations.  I did manage to walk away with double my money the other night, but at one point it had worked its way up to triple.  Finally after four straight losers I had the good sense to walk away.  I've never denied my gambling "issue."  This could get interesting.  

 

Thing I'm scare of:  The food.  Not the crime.  Not the crazy traffic.  Not the travel to third world places like Haiti and Honduras, but the food. Yes, I realize the reason food is my main concern could make up a separate blog with an entirely different theme.  I REALLY don't want to gain the 30 or so pounds back I've lost over the last year or so, but the food is SO GOOD.  The other night, I gave mofongo a try.  Fried mashed plantains with oil, garlic, etc.  The mofongo I had at Ropa Vieja was of the garlic shrimp variety.  Sounds strange, I realize.  Garlic shrimp stuffed into mashed seasoned plantains, but it was THE BEST meal I've had here.  Pinky's is my favorite breakfast spot, with possibly the best coffee I've ever had.  Just too much new stuff to try!

This weekend I got out of the five mile radius that has become my comfort zone.  I drove about 25 miles east to the edge of the rainforest to check out the kennel that will be Charlie's home for a week.  I need a chauffer.  It's such a pretty place I'd rather be looking at the scenery than paying attention to the driving.  Lush, green, palm tree covered hill sides with brightly colored stucco houses built into them; it all just looks so foreign and tropical.  This Sunday the weather was absolutely beautiful.  I walked out to the beach and just started.  The water was so gorgeous; I couldn't believe this is going to be home for three years!